Weight loss advocate Jared Fogle incurs the wrath of the town after he announces that he lost weight because he has aides (misinterpreted as AIDS). Meanwhile, the boys use Butters as their spokesman for a Chinese restaurant.
The boys and their parents vacation in Aspen. Stan is challenged to a skiing competition while the parents are imprisoned at a timeshare seminar.
The boys disguise Butters as a victim of a birth defect so they can win a prize on The Maury Povich Show, but when the freaks go on strike, Cartman disguises himself as an out of control teenage girl in order to get on Maury.
The boys try to save baby cows destined to become veal from torture and slaughter.
The boys have to sit through Fightin' Round the World, a boring TV show starring Russell Crowe, to see a trailer for the new Terrance and Phillip movie, but risk missing it when Shelly sends the boys out to buy her tampons and the boys try to find another TV to watch the trailer.
The boys try to find a replacement for Butters, who becomes a supervillain after being fired from the group.
Butters discovers that all of his plots for destroying the world have been done before on the FOX animated sitcom The Simpsons. Meanwhile, Cartman creates a miniature society of sea people in his aquarium.
Following the Catholic Church molestation scandals, Priest Maxi tries to bring about reform, the South Park parents convert to atheism, and Cartman wins a bet with Kyle that he can defecate from his mouth.
The kids form a club to try and stop Steven Spielberg and George Lucas from editing their classic films, but the townspeople mistake it as a call to free a child murderer named Hat McCullough from prison.
The boys in class start acting weird when Bebe begins to develop breasts, while Wendy Testaburger gets implants so the boys will notice her.
The parents hire Tuong Lu Kim to build a wall around the city to protect the children from kidnappers, but end up letting their kids go after learning that parents are more likely to abduct their own children than total strangers.
The boys build a ladder to heaven to talk to Kenny about a candy coupon. Meanwhile, Cartman accidentally drinks Kenny’s ashes and becomes possessed with his spirit.
The boys go on a quest to return a tape with “evil powers” to the video store before the sixth graders steal it from them. Meanwhile, the parents try to find their kids to explain the context of the porno film they have in their possession.
Mr. Garrison tries to get fired for discrimination by performing inappropriate acts in class with his new teaching assistant Mr. Slave so he can file a lawsuit against the school, but the school administration instead sends the students to a "tolerance camp" to learn how to deal with people of different walks of life.
Chef’s parents try to exorcise Kenny’s spirit from Cartman. Meanwhile, Stan calls out John Edward for providing false hope to people whose loved ones have died.
Stan meets a man who claims to be Stan in the future after a life of abusing drugs and alcohol. Meanwhile, Cartman starts a "revenge business".
In this parody of Black Hawk Down, Cartman tries to bring Christmas to the downtrodden in Iraq to get on Santa’s “nice” list.